Mastering Escalation: How to Handle Difficult Situations in Community Management
As a community professional, it’s not uncommon to encounter “sticky situations” or difficult conflicts that require escalation. These situations can range from conflicts between community members to more serious issues such as harassment or hate speech. In my 13+ years working as a community management professional, I’ve not only dealt with escalated issues hundreds if not thousands of times, but I’ve also taught many others to do it effectively. Much of what I do comes naturally now, but I spent a lot of time in my years as a fledgling community professional researching, networking, and trying different approaches for conflict resolution while refining my method along the way. Escalating these situations can be challenging, but there are several tips you can follow to help navigate the situation effectively and efficiently.
Introduce yourself: When escalating a situation, it’s important to first introduce yourself and explain your role within the community. This will help establish your authority and credibility with the community member(s) involved. When approached with care and authenticity, this is a great first step toward getting on the same page.
Start with understanding: Before taking any action, it’s crucial to understand the root cause of the problem and why the community member is upset. This may involve listening to the community member’s concerns, asking questions, and gathering information from other sources. When possible, I like to ask for this info in advance so I can come better prepared.
Use empathy: Empathy can be one of the most powerful keys when dealing with an upset community member. It’s important to put yourself in their shoes and understand how they are feeling. This will help you approach the situation in a more understanding and compassionate way. Acknowledging that those involved with their own experience and needs can help you when finding a solution.
Approach with the intent to take action: It’s easy to get bogged down in the details of a situation, but it’s important to remember that action is needed to resolve the problem. I try to do this by setting the expectation that we’ll spend a set amount of time sharing and then move toward discussing a solution. When possible, I like to include the community member(s) in the solution to ensure everyone is bought in.
Praise in public, correct in private: When dealing with a community member who is causing problems, it’s important to remember that public criticism can be damaging to their reputation and can also reflect poorly on the community as a whole. Instead, praise community members in public for their positive contributions while correcting problem behavior in private. For top contributors, I even try and do this live on the phone or over zoom whenever possible.
Respect all, even those causing problems: When dealing with a difficult situation, it’s easy to get caught up in the emotions of the moment. However, it’s important to remember to always treat all community members with respect, even if they are causing problems. As mentioned when talking about empathy, everyone is a human with their own point of view and feelings. Even when delivering a difficult message, such as removing a community member, remember that being direct and clear with your message is kind and respectful.
Take care of yourself: Escalating a difficult situation can be emotionally taxing, so it’s important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Make sure to take breaks as needed and reach out to colleagues or a supervisor for support. Some ways that my team and I take care of ourselves are to take a long lunch, go for a walk, do some yoga or other exercise, go get a coffee or boba, and, of course, lean on one another for second opinions or coverage.
In addition to these tips, there are other things to consider when escalating a sticky situation as a community professional. For example, it’s important to be aware of your own biases and to be transparent about the actions you’re taking whenever possible. It is also important to be aware of the community guidelines and make sure to enforce them consistently and fairly.
Overall, escalating a sticky situation as a community professional requires a balance of empathy, action, and respect. By following these tips, you can help to defuse the situation and lead the community towards a positive outcome. Remember, being a community professional is not an easy task and it requires patience, understanding, and skills to handle different types of situations. But with the right approach, you can effectively navigate even the most challenging situations.
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About Adiel Cloud Nuesmeyer
Hi, I’m Adiel (she/her)! I’m a Sr. Director of Community Development, leading a team of 13 to connect with our customers — as well as form connections between them. My professional superpower is being able to glean insights and features from engaging 1:1 with customers — because I truly care about them and the community.
When I’m not leading the charge (and teaching others how to lead their *own* charge), I can be found driving my kids to umpteen gymnastics practices, tending to a literal indoor jungle of household plants while watching the Utah Jazz — and pretending I don’t see my husband talking about buying a 5th grill. Yes, a *5th* grill, lol. I’d love to connect with other passionate professionals and mission-driven organizations on LinkedIn!
